Books to Help Kids with Divorce
Four Recommended Reads for Children in Crisis and Their Families
Apr 4, 2008
Feelings of abandonment, withdrawal from beloved friends and familiar activities, negative behavior changes, worry and fear – Kim Leon, State Specialist in Human Development and Family Studies cites in her article, Helping Children Understand Divorce, these and many other harmful side effects in children whose parents divorce.
During a time of familial upheaval children desperately need friends who understand, pals who have been there, but sometimes kids find it difficult to share with peers or even comprehend themselves the emotions they are experiencing. How can parents or other concerned adults help a child deal with divorce? By introducing him or her to one of several friends from the world of fiction.
In her Newberry Medal-winning book Beverly Cleary creates a character with whom children experiencing divorce can relate. Fourth grader Leigh Botts will demonstrate the benefits of journaling one’s struggles and feelings resulting from divorce in order to better cope with them. He will also share a common frustration among kids from single-parent homes, that of feeling abandoned, unloved and forgotten by an absent parent. Dear Mr. Henshaw is a chapter book recommended for boys and girls ages eight to twelve.
Written for an older audience Gary Paulsen’s tale of adventure, adversity and survival invites pre-teens and middle school-age casualties of divorce to join thirteen year-old Brian Robeson as he attempts to survive in the Canadian wilderness with only a hatchet as a companion.
As he struggles to overcome the obstacles thrown at him by mother nature Brian also faces inner demons stemming from his parents’ recent divorce, including his knowledge of the root cause of the split, a secret of which his dad is unaware. Brian will provide fellow survivors with inspiration, hope and strength to face their own wildernesses and survive their own disasters.
Although her parents are not technically divorced Opal Buloni knows intimately the pain of a broken home. Her mother abandoned her and her father when she was a baby. Why did she leave? Didn’t she love me? Why didn’t dad go after her? Was it my fault? Such questions will resonate within the souls of children who, like Opal, long for a parent who chose not to be present in their lives. Kate DiCamillo’s charming heroine will help boys and girls alike come to terms with a parent’s absence. Because of Winn-Dixie is recommended for children ages eight to twelve.
It’s common knowledge; laughter is good medicine, and kids who find themselves heart-sick over their parents’ divorce need large doses of it. Enter Joey Pigza, the loveable, hyperactive star of Jack Gantos’ Newberry Honor Book. In this second book in a series of three, Joey visits his father for the summer, the first such visit since his parents’ divorce.
Children of divorced parents will recognize and identify with Joey’s fears and insecurities as he gets to know his dad. Kids whose parents have moved on to new relationships will also find a friend in Joey as he meets his dad’s new girlfriend and faces the possibility of being a part of a brand new family while trying to hold onto the family he has with his mom. Although Joey Pigza Loses Control is geared toward readers between the ages of eight and twelve, younger children will enjoy hearing it read by a caring adult, perhaps a parent who is also struggling with the divorce.
Get Real
Although fictional friends are not an acceptable substitute for flesh-and-blood buddies, kids can find comfort, hope and coping techniques in the stories of Leigh, Brian, Opal and Joey. Their tales can also spark discussions regarding the real-life hurts children experience, as well as uncover feelings, questions and fears of which parents on both sides of a divorce need to be aware.
